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Author Topic: Prologue- The Lunar War  (Read 2045 times)

Offline Sardonic

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Prologue- The Lunar War
« on: June 18, 2010, 08:08:48 pm »

Lunar Wars was a deeply flawed game.  It started out as a CN ripoff, utilizing source code stolen from CN.  It was colonized by AEGIS, the losers of the Third Great War.  Initially it was written off and mocked by the members of the old cybernations GOONS, including myself.  The game played wonky, the playerbase was retarded (even more-so than CN's), the game didn't seem to have a future.

However, a few CNgoons did join, a few weeks after it started.  Most notably Lamuella, Mercury, Mandozer, and I.  I joined mostly as a joke, but wound up staying.  Mercury headed up the government as the first Pilot, the forums were on his hosting.  Initially I just wanted to be a diplomat, as I was only just starting to become interested in the totally gay intriguing world of browser game politics.  Mandozer however convinced me to become the first Defensive War Director, it was from there that my career begun in earnest.  It's a bit sobering to think of how much would be different had Mandozer not suggested I become DWD.

The alliance was set up in Lunar Wars (using a modified version of the original cngoons charter, no less), and immediately we were met with hostility, from both the members of Cybernations GOONS we tried to recruit to build the alliance, and the despicable pubbie denizens of Lunar Wars itself.  When we left CN, we came with the intent or continuing the hunt of GW3, which GOONS and the initiative won handily, and they could smell it on us.  We made a few friends with the other initiative alliance wings formed there, but it frayed quickly, and we did not have strong diplomatic ties.  We did find some commonality with a few, but it wasn't enough to put us on the "winning" side of the game, like we're on now.  In addition,  unfortunately, we had made a huge tactical mistake, one that sadly we would never quite recover from.

The game was set up in a way that made it virtually impossible to advance beyond other alliances if you started later than they did.  We had started quite a bit after the other major alliances, and suffered for it in war.  Though we fought hard, we could never quite get an edge in.  We would never become the largest alliance until the very end of the game.  The mechanics of the game were pretty bullshit, basically.  We were at a political and military disadvantage.  We would be forced to improvise.

Improvisation would come in many forms.  At first Mendoza (Mandozer) got it in his head to start up a spy ring, which was quickly discovered and disavowed.  That marked the end of Mandozer's involvement in LW.  This was certainly not the kind of innovation we needed.  Our true innovation came in diplomacy.  While we started out with very little in the way of diplomatic ability (none of us were bigwigs in the old CNGOONS, except maybe lam), we quickly gained it by necessity.  While we lost many wars, we never paid a dime of reps.  Slowly but surely our diplomatic influence spread, gradually.

A tipping point was reached eventually, and our political influence reached its apex.  We were the center of the game politically, we were only the second or third strongest alliance, but we held the power, and our allies were strong, and well connected too.  We were never even part of any bloc, but headed a grand independent faction, and we had the moral high ground.  Eventually we were on top of the world. We made an alliance disband just by freaking out their leader with the very idea that we would attack.  We finally had what we wanted.

Sadly this period didn't last.  While we did effectively win the game by default and throw the world into a war against the people we didn't like, the game was just about over.  Pubbies cried to the Admin, and he made a Lunar Wars "Round 2", and closed registration to the first "round".  It was around this time that I retired, mostly due to inter-government conflict with salithus.  I pretty much left the game at that point to rot, just barely maintaining my colony.

Round 2, from my understanding, did not go well.  salithus and fw (hi fw) apparently did not do very well in it.  If I had to guess I would say that salithus forced the alliance into doing the idiotic self-destructive things he had always wanted to do with the primary Lunar Wars GOONS alliance in round 1, the same sorts of things that he would try to get us to do here in Cybernations, assuredly.  The alliance crumpled and was apparently absorbed into some pubbie alliance.  Arguably it was the most shameful end to a GOONS group possible.

And then, the game died, both rounds.

For a long time I didn't have any involvement in any browser games, except collecting in isolation here in Cybernations, hiding in some idiotic pubbie alliances.

Eventually though, after years of waiting in vain for somebody to recreate GOONS, I got a message, a message from salithus no less, that started it all.
« Last Edit: August 05, 2010, 10:21:47 pm by Sardonic »

Offline Mert

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Re: Prologue- The Lunar War
« Reply #1 on: June 19, 2010, 03:52:01 am »
Just thought I'd post here (at Sardonic's request) to add some colour to the LunarWars story as it plays a big part in how the current CN GOONS came to function. As a veteran and government member throughout most of our time there, I'm going to do my best to recount the story as best I can, though I'll no doubt miss out a number of things along the way - hopefully Lamuella, Sardonic or any of the other LW veterans can fill in the gaps.

0. Gay shit about me and how I came to be in GOONS and the role I played in the LW story, skip it if you want

Firstly, a little about how I came to be a Goon on the Moon. I wasn't actually a goon (in the tenbux-paying SA account-holding sense) when I first joined. Like many, I had migrated from CyberNations but I was in some horrible pubbie alliance with a few folk I'd played Mafia with. At this point, CN was ruled by an elite powerbloc held together by what was formally known as the World Unity Treaty or, informally but more commonly, The Initiative. Some of the Initiative alliances still exist today - notably NPO and their Polar bretherin. Some did not fare so well as, perhaps inevitably, the World Unity Treaty dominated the game to the point where the only real targets left were themselves. FAN were among the first to go, followed later by GOONS and \m/.

During all this, I had watched GOONS very much as a fascinated outsider - their ability to troll people on the forums, to elicit tears of genuine anguish and to do it all with a wry smile was something I personally found very amusing (much to the chagrin of my stupid pubbie alliance). When I first found out about LunarWars, I made the decision that I'd try and join the GOONS that was there. I still didn't have an SA account (before you all start calling me a j4g faggot or whatever) but talked my way in pretty much by showing in my posting that I "get" goons.

After I joined I was very active on the GOONS forum and ingame and Salithus (he hates his name being capitalised because he's a whiny babby but fuck him, it's how English works), who held a junior war ministry post at the time, recommended that I run for Squad Leader. I was hesitant - I wasn't a "proper" goon and I was quite new and, even worse, had unknowingly and unwittingly laughed at what I later found out to be a terrible 4chan meme on IRC. Still, he insisted so I went for it. Shortly afterward I paid my tenbux and it wasn't long before I found myself with a government position.

At this time, CapnBiggles was Pilot, Lamuella was Co-Pilot, Sardonic was Defensive War Director, Salithus Offensive War Director but there was an opening for a Foreign Affairs/Diplomacy kinda guy. That was the role I held for the majority of my tenure within the alliance so it's from that perspective that I tell most of this story.

1. The Status Quo

As Sardonic mentioned, LW was dominated largely by two powerblocs at the time I started playing. GOONS was, ostensibly, a part of this alongisde ZERG (largely NPO people) and Legion. Legion were an alliance in CyberNations that had their asses handed to them by The Initiative so they had sworn to do better in the moon game and, to give them their due, they did. For a long time they were the largest alliance in the game by some margin and they had a huge influence over its proceedings.

GOONS, in typically incompetent style, had managed to leave a minor treaty with some nobody alliance active while that alliance became part of what was the clear opposing powerbloc, leaving them in the strange position of having them allied to both sides. After some political wrangling and some MY HONOUR style posting on the official forums, GOONS came away relatively unscathed, reputation in tact but with a somewhat severe lack of people to call allies.

2. Enter a proposturous group of Firefly roleplayers

Around this time, a new alliance appeared called The Browncoats, headed up by Lord Malcolm. A mixture of defectors from other alliances who were bored with the status quo and some fresh blood to the game, The Browncoats established themselves as a very solid and large alliance. They didn't have the numbers or raw military strength that the likes of Legion did but what they did have was a strong sense of community internally - their IRC was always full of people chatting and their forums had new posts coming in all the time. While their "in character" posts on the official forums would make any discerning goon cringe, that sense of having a community within a community was obviously something very familiar to the average goon. It wasn't long before a friendship was formed between the two alliances - a bond that would not be broken until the very end of the game.

3. Constant hurf durfing about MADPs

The game idled along with some conflict here and there but there was a definite sense of stagnation creeping into the game. GOONS and Browncoats had discussed this at some length and come to the conclusion that it was because we were trying to play the game by pre-defined rules that were copy/pasted from CyberNations. The game had treaties that bound the alliances together, as expected, but they were pidgeonholed into being MDPs or MADPs or whatever - any specific clauses or anything you tried to do to differentiate your treaty from the rest were met with blank stares and "yeah but how does it fit on my diagram I made?" type questions.

So, when GOONS and Browncoats released our revised treaty, we refused to say whether it was an MDP, MADP, NAP or other pointless acronym. We referred to it publically as a BFF Pact but insisted that if people wanted to know what relevance it held to the global politick that they should simply read its content. This was a cause for much confusion as the vast majority of pubbie alliances were made up of complete steakhead retards and, true to form, because they didn't understand they decided it was a threat.

4. But is it a powerbloc?

Oh it was glorious! Between GOONS and Browncoats and our BFF treaty it seemed we'd found a way to basically troll the entire game. Of course, we were being deliberately belligerent but we actually believed what we said - if you boil down the treaty system into simple "will attack" or "won't attack" groups then of course you would have a stagnant game world - this wasn't CN with its intricate map of literally hundreds of alliances, this was a game with two dozen at best, with the top ten or so making up about 80% of the playerbase.

However, the gibbering masses eventually put us down as having an MADP and went about their business. Clearly we needed to go one better. Enter The Independent Faction. Headed by GOONS and Browncoats, TIF was a group of likeminded alliances whose only rule was that there would be no direct military ties to one another. We had a treaty that said we were friends, that we'd have a shared forum, a shared IRC channel and that we'd share results of military testing or intelligence but we had absolutely nothing stating whether or not we'd defend one another and in what circumstances.

The official forums ignited - most presumed we were posturing as a new powerbloc but any time someone asked if we'd defend one another the answer simply came back that "it depends". Our independence meant exactly that - that we would independently decide whether or not to defend one another should the time come that one of us was attacked.

Inevitably, this was put to the test shortly afterward. The AEGIS group, headed up by Legion strung together a list of targets for its member alliances and they set about trying to destroy The Independent Faction. GOONS elected to help defend Browncoats but not every member did. One alliance, after taking a bit of a beating, got cold feet and withdrew their membership. Other, smaller alliances (who were not part of TIF and so held other, more traditional treaties with some of its members) were drawn into the conflict and the whole moon was at war again.

The TIF alliances were very adept by this point at getting every inch out of the retarded, broken combat system and put up a good fight but the numbers were against us. Eventually, the war started to take its toll and Legion began talking surrender terms - we were to break up the Independent Faction, to sever all ties with our friends and to pay reparations. It seemed our time had really come, that we were on the brink of an unrecoverable situation. Well, almost...

5. The Fark turnabout

To understand the gravity and surprise at what happened next, we need to revisit some CN history again. When Fark first entered the world of CyberNations they had formed an alliance that had been, frankly, curbstomped by GOONS. For nearly a year, everyone flying the Fark banner was regularly and repeatedly sent to ZI hell for no real reason other than that they could. An ungoony forum community was clearly not going to be allowed to have a presence but Fark never surrendered or gave in, so the war just went on and on. To say there was animosity between the two was an understament.

Fark had also formed an alliance in LunarWars, one which was allied to Legion and was currently exacting its revenge on GOONS for crimes committed in CN. But then something wonderful happened. Sardonic began talking to them and it turned out we had a lot more in common than we would perhaps have thought. They, too, were bored of the stagnanting game and really didn't enjoy it unless they were fighting someone. Seeing the game go into the "one powerbloc to rule them all" mentality that had seen The Initiative dominate Planet Bob for so long was causing their interest to wane severely.

So they did something none of their allies would ever have foreseen in a million years. They took the smallest of GOONS' allies and publically declared them to be Fark's new protectorate, effectively meaning that their then allies, all of whom were demanding ridiculous surrender terms of this small alliance, were now their enemies. Fark turned the tide, the AEGIS crowd declared unanimous peace with the Independent Faction and her allies and turned its attention to Fark who were frankly over the moon (forgive the pun) at the thought of being permenantly able to war with people without having to tiptoe around what they described as "all the political bullshit".

6. Once more, with feeling

Using their newfound strength and buoyant from never having surrendered in any war, GOONS went from strength to strength. One alliance tried to call us out as anti-semetic because someone put "you need more vespene gas" in their wardec, which is apparently a reference to Jews being gassed in Nazi Germany. One alliance, around a fifth our size decided to take us on while their inept leader tied them into political knots on the forums. One alliance didn't know how to set permission masks on their forum so their "secret plan" to take on the top three alliances were viewable by anyone who typed in their domain name.

My favourite though was an alliance led by a guy called Stukov. He seemed to genuinely think he was Kane out of Command & Conquer and so, when he started posturing on the forum about having the strength to take out GOONS, we called his bluff and presented him with an army of bloodthirsty allies, all eager to cut his little roleplay ego to shreds. So surprised was he at getting called out in public that he disbanded his entire alliance (and the little army of meatshields who reported directly to him, rather than their alliance leaders) without a single shot ever being fired.

GOONS were on a roll and we were untouchable. Alliances of all shapes and sizes came up against us and were eventually squashed by our vastly superior command of the meta game and our sound knowledge of the exact ins and outs of every part of the war system.

Legion, however, had a score to settle. They were still the biggest alliance in the game despite dwindling interest and they sat squarely atop the game's number one spot. By this point everyone kinda knew the game was drawing to a close but Legion, denied so many times in the past, wouldn't rest until it had finally beaten GOONS in a war. They gathered all the allies they could and went to war. All they wanted to do was "win the game" - they cared of nothing else and they saw GOONS as the only threat to that.

But, as usual, we had an ace or two up our sleeve. Knowing that their main desire was to win and that their primary metric by which they judged their overall victory was the ranking of alliance strength (which was provided ingame) we gathered our allies in Browncoats and a couple of smaller alliances and hatched a plan to snatch away the number one slot once and for all.

As the wars rolled in and their lead began to increase, a joint announcement appeared on the official forums introducing the activation of Project Voltron. Browncoats were to merge every single member of their alliance into GOONS and work under GOONS leadership, thus denying Legion the top spot for the remainder of the game.

Following that, the majority of players began to slowly drift away as their nations fell into inactivity. The announcement of Lunar Wars 2 and the never-completed Galava put a stop to the remainder of the political wrangling and GOONS' legacy was forever secured in the number one slot they had taken from Legion.

Offline CapnBiggles

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Re: Prologue- The Lunar War
« Reply #2 on: June 19, 2010, 12:38:23 pm »

Hi there.

Basically I ran LunarGoons during most of it's relevant period of activity.

My brain is somewhat melted from the passage of time and work, but most of what Mert has composed is completely accurate. I do feel a lot of my role in this has been somewhat minimized. But I don't want to sound self-centric: Lamuella, Mert, Sardonic, salithus (yes, salithus) and others in the executive team were all part of a well-oiled political machine that catapulted us from just another Goonrush into something spectacular in a game that should have been just a footnote.

Beginning and Stuff

This is going to be a bunch of rambling because I'm really fucking tired and Mert did a great job summarizing shit. Some stuff got left out, but most of it does doesn't matter unless you were there.

I took the reigns of power along with Lamuella in what was a essentially a power-play to save LunarGoons. The old leader, Mercury, was becoming distant and apathetic towards the game. At some critical times he simply wasn't around.

I started in the Diplomatic Corps. I started to exert more and more influence over events simply because so much of the game revolved around diplomatic policy than actual combat. I also worked on quite a bit of artwork for LunarGoons as well. I even made Sardonic a totally awesome forum signature:

Ok moving on.

Taking shit over, a new philosophy, and advertising

So we were in business. We had a functioning revolutionary government built on rational thought, diplomacy, and actually playing the game. I know, sort of goes against the rules of a typical Goon presence. The trick was, we were two-faced. We basically played by the rules, but found loopholes in treaties and the way combat was structured to make life hell for everyone. It was sort of a 'legal trolling,' I suppose, and it was fun as fuck. We were also terribly good at it.

The only problem was, we needed more Goons. So we started advertising on the forum. I made several banners.

We went at the angle that we were Goons who expanded to the Moon from Cybernations. This was a half-truth in that we had several CN vets, but the leadership was composed of people who tried to operate from a completely non-exclusive attitude. We invited new goons to participate. We encouraged people to take on responsibility and leadership roles. We wanted to do the exact opposite that the old Cybernations goons did: create an elaborate bureaucracy of rank and familiarity that worked admirably but sometimes kept new guys in the dark.

And it worked.

Shit happened.

So we were in like Flynn and despite almost everyone's disbelief and reservations, were tentatively accepted as members of the greater Lunar community. Fark was there. 4chan was there. I mean shit, fans of Paradox games even had a team in this game. Everyone had a slice of the action.

Basically a lot of fighting, power consolidation, and politics erupted. People started picking sides. See Mert's post about Legion. That's a story unto itself. Anyway look at this rats nest for an idea of the complex political landscape. Keep in mind, this is just a map of the major players during one week of one MONTH of different changes:


Ok so skimming a lot more story and shit we decided it would be a fantastic idea to band together with factions from 4chan and others. I cannot remember why. So this happened:

I bet you'd never think you'd see a flag like that right? Well, there's evidently a reason for that. Well it totally blew up in our face. Basically everyone reasonable freaked out over an unholy alliance like this, and banded together against us. Then, as you might suspect, 4chan people did some retarded shit and we got caught up in massive war.

We took it on the chin but manned up and held on strong. We then went our separate ways and I spent the next several months helping reorganize our power base politically, militarily, and economically. And you know what? We fucking pulled it off. We once again became a major power broker in the game.

We came back from the brink because of political saavy, organization, and strength of will over our usual policy of sheer strength of numbers. I think a lot of us were proud of that.

The downfall of the game and Browncoats

Ok so the game started to get shitty because it became clear that Goons won't die easy, and we made some powerful friends. We even became BFFs with Fark, and despite the efforts of both sides to undermine that relationship, it pretty much stayed until the game imploded and the gay creator of LunarWars shut it all down.

I digress. So this Lord Malcolm guy comes out of some other faction. He's basically becoming bored. We didn't blame him. We were the "good guys" and basically we sandbagged ourselves so well the "bad guys" were too afraid to do anything. See Mert's post for details. Well, the thing about Malcolm and the Browncoats? They were cool people. They got tired of all these treaties and shit. So what did I do? I offered them a treaty :). Anyway that totally fucked the goat politically on the moon. Shit went down. Wars happened. Some old allies went batshit on us, and some other allies lost their power through internal strife and came back fucking nuts.

Thus began a period of some nasty shit. We fought through it, but it was becoming clear the game was dying down. Also, the creator of LunarWars was launching a new game so everyone pretty much threw their hands in the air.

The end

I handed power over to salithus, my offensive war director, and said goodbye to everyone after almost one entire year of semi-dictatorship. I was proud of what we accomplished, and I think this game was the best example of goons banding together and sticking with it that I ever saw. I don't know if I'll ever see anything like it again, though what Sardonic has done here is damn close.

A note on salithus

Salithus was always an ambitious guy, and he was always scheming something at some point. He never crossed me though, and in fact was the co-brainchild of several plans I had during my tenure as leader. He never got along with Sardonic. I think their personalities clash. Salithus is impulsive and direct. Sardonic is calculating and thoughtful. I always tried to stay neutral and be the third party to compromise their differences, but I always suspected it would come to something like this. I'm glad Sardonic is in charge, and I'm sad to see salithus ending up the way he did, but what is done is done and the proper actions were taken.

Offering my services

If anyone still wants me around, I offer my services again as an adviser.  Let me know and I will gladly be the silent voice in the back of the decision-making chamber again. I promise to remain in a non-power wielding capacity if need be.


Files, records, and shit

I unintentionally saved a ton of shit. Here are some treaties and stuff I wrote you may be interested in. Or not.

I wrote all of this, for better or worse. Also, I was the power behind the throne by this point on all these documents if I'm not listed as leader.

- - -

The LAWL Treaty and Preamble


There are points in time during the evolution of human events where those who understand the fundamental truths of honor, loyalty, and righteousness turn from away from the empty echoes of their past and towards the approaching horizon of hope.

While it is a foregone conclusion that there will always be an overtly humanistic approach, filled with a consistent degree of humor and candor, to political dialogue on the moon for the signatory alliances assembled here for the ratification and implementation of this treaty, we concur that due to the turbulent climate of the lunar landscape we must boldly move forward in establishing a front of rationality against violence and irrationality exhibited by common foes who desire only power and gain at the expense and subsequent ruin of those they cannot control to their own ends.

We, the assembled lunar alliances presented herein, in order to form a union based on fundamental aspects of trust based on loyalty and content of character, agree that the time has come for there to be a an answering call to the chaos thrust against the community of the moon.

We stand for reason. We stand for rationality. We stand for common sense. While in reflections of our past we may be ironic iconic bastions or defenders of these qualities, it is imperative that someone stand up and represent the voices that still champion the numerous ties we have made with each other and through counsel or conflict once again bring peace and prosperity to the surface of the final frontier.

In that context we do solemnly and with all the political, financial, and military might we can bring to bear in accordance with the articles presented, do hereby affirm and ratify the following documentation for submission to the general lunar society for their immediate information.


The Treaty of LAWL

“Fortis Cadere Cedere Non Potest”


We, the undersigned alliances, hereby establish the Lunar Axis of War and Lulz (LAWL) in the interests of unity, mudkips, and maximum lulz.

I. Unity

The signatories of this pact agree to stand together, unified, immediately and unto perpetuity.  An attack on one signatory is considered an attack on all signatories and will be met with all available strength in defense.  If a signatory needs aid in any endeavor, the other signatories are obligated to come to their assistance by any means necessary.  Any signatory engaged in war may request that some, or all, signatories not become involved.

Wars shall be organized as each signatory sees fit, including individual organization or cooperation between some or all signatories.  Signatories who partake in aggressive wars against non-signatory alliances must notify the other signatories of their planned actions beforehand.  Day-to-day decisions affecting LAWL will be made informally, by consensus, but if a vote is necessary a simple majority is needed.

II. Membership

After the initial ratification of this treaty, further signatories may be added by consent of all the signatory alliances.  Alliances seeking to sign this treaty must be sponsored by a current signatory.  If an alliance is sponsored, the sponsoring signatory can begin a vote at any time on the admittance of the alliance.  Signatory alliances may be removed from this treaty by an affirmative vote of 66% of existing signatory alliances. All membership votes must last a minimum of 72 hours and be preceeded by 48 hours of discussion before votes may be cast.  Any alliance that does not vote within the 72-hour voting period will be considered to have abstained.

III. Communication

All signatories shall provide a system to each other which is capable of making binding decisions for the signatory and is capable of providing aformentioned binding decisions within six hours of a crisis requiring such decisions, unless mitigating circumstances exist.

IV. Amendments

To amend this document, a proposal must be made, followed by 48 hours of discussion and a 72-hour voting period, in which the amendment must be passed unanimously.  Each signatory has a single vote in this process.

V. Termination

A signatory can withdraw from this treaty at any time by providing notice to the other signatories one week before withdrawl.

VI. Conclusion


Signed for LUE:
Iforget2, Co-Leader
HD30, Co-Leader
Archon, Minister of Foreign Affairs
Bakunin, Minister of Defense
SamuelLJackson, Minister of Internal Affairs
GunneR, Minister of Internal Affairs

Signed for ELS:
Eph, Overmind of the ELS
neneko, Queen of the ELS
East_Philadelphia, Defense Overlord

Signed for ZERG:
Xenos, Emperor of Zion Exploration and Research Group

Signed for GOONS:
Mercury, Pilot
Cadmiel, Co-Pilot
Lamuella, Foreign Diplomacy Director
CapnBiggles, Acting Assistant Foreign Diplomacy Director
Mendoza, Offensive War Director
Sardonic, Defensive War Director
MWNF, War Aids Director

Signed for Echelon:
President Justin, Chancellor
bigtketz165, Chancellor
Grahamule, Minister of Internal Affairs
Maccers, Minister of Defense
 Terrenia is the last counciller

- - -

Treaty with North Star Coalition

LET IT BE KNOWN That the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence and Sadism (GOONS) and the North Star Coalition (NSC), in the shared interests of acknowledging past and present positive relations coupled with a sincere desire to perpetuate these relations onto the lunar surface, hereby swear and agree to abide by the following arrangement:

The “Birds and the Bees” Mutual Defense Pact

Section 1: I like your smile, stay here awhile

GOONS and NSC share a historically strong relationship, and under the merits of that relationship both sides acknowledge that the following articles, while executed under the auspices of genuine friendship, understanding and mutual military and assorted aid and assistance, shall not violate the independent sovereignty (domestic or foreign) of either party in any way. GOONS and NSC also vow to observe each other’s “personal space.”
Section 2: It’s time to ‘Get Real’

The GOONS and NSC agree that loves starts in the home. So doing such things as attacking each other's colonies or assisting each other’s enemies does not lead to trusting or lasting relationship, and subsequently will violate this treaty. Both parties also agree to resolve any disputes through private discussions before utilizing the services of a certified marriage counselor or asking Dr. Phil to intercede.

Section 3: When one alliance loves another alliance very very much….

Both parties agree to share intelligence when requested, and if one party finds out some other guys are planning on beating up the other party, they’ll tell them. 

Subclause: Neither party is allowed to inform the other that they are fat, or that wearing certain garments of clothing makes their butts look big.

Section 4: For richer or poorer, in sickness or in health

GOONS agrees to protect NSC colonial interests in the result of lunar conflict with military assistance, and NSC agrees to also employ military assets to assist GOONS colonies under similar circumstances. If GOONS or ZERG are the instigators of a conflict against a foreign power, military assistance is optional unless directly requested at any time, prior or after conflict is initiated.

Section 5: And I will always love you

This MDP is authored under the assumption that this will create permanent positive relations between both alliances, extending beyond the petty shifts and alterations usually exhibited in the volatile political climate of the moon. It serves as a basis of future trust and understanding between both alliances, which both parties will openly acknowledge and advertise when necessary in general conversation and elevated political discourse should the need arise.

- - -

My retirement post

My fellow GOONS,

In just a few short months, it will be my year anniversary of service in our fine alliance. Just a month after that, it will be my year anniversary of government service, from the humble beginnings in our diplomatic corps eventually leading to the leadership I have possessed for a little over half a year now.

I remember when I wrote my first treaty, and I was totally uncertain whether I should have gotten involved in all in administration. I did so as a way of striking back at the almost vast and unmanageable bureaucracy of GOONS in Cybernations. While I am loyal to the memories of that organization, I felt removed and disconnected from it. I strove from that point forward to be engaged in LunarWars, and in turn try to make this alliance one in which every GOON felt important, or at the very least could feel open to say his mind, and know that what he was saying was heard.

In the course of time, I have been involved in all major conflicts, and personally guided us through two of the latest, and largest, of those two events. I have attempted to guide us in a direction of determination, strength, and honor. When I refer to honor, I do not mean it in the Internet Serious Business language nor the role-playing aspects of the game itself, but I simply wanted to transmit the pragmatic and practical nature innate to most GOONS into the way we conducted our affairs. We have our crazy and fun-loving side, but I feel we have a collective intelligence that remains untapped except in rare circumstances where lightning strikes in certain games, and I wanted to capture it this time in my own bottle.

I’d like to think I was successful, because I am proud of what we have accomplished. Much more importantly, I am also proud of all of you for living up a higher standard. We have done as we liked, we have fought for friends and issues we believed in, and we never gave ground or quarter to those who thought badly of us. Many sought to destroy us because I believe they felt threatened by our stable and organized demeanor. Take pride in this accomplishment. We went into an online game with many having preconceived notions about our ability to play it squarely, and we met them head on, and in my opinion became a pinnacle of achievement-an example to others that GOONS can be a force to be feared, but also respected.

Finally, while many had reservations about the issue, you empowered me with the ability to help found a safe harbor for our alliance after two brutal periods of war, so that we could rebuild, grow, and yet again become a force to be reckoned with. By vote I was given the ability to be an undisputed, yet accountable, leader. With your efforts and a capable stable of officers at my back, I believe we are making good headway in that endeavor. The sky is the limit, and there is much promise in where we are heading.

On that note, however, I believe a promise made is a promise kept. You have trusted me with power, and thus like Cincinnatus I relinquish that authority back to the government, and by extension the people who bestowed it upon me.

Effective immediately, I hereby resign from the position of Pilot from GOONS with a confident and satisfied feeling that I leave it in good hands. I hereby appoint my Offensive War Director, Salithus, as temporary Pilot until the next election cycle for Pilot comes up. I also endorse him for this position when that election arrives. It is my intention to remain active in Council politics as a non-voting member, as an advisor as well as a resource with my extensive history and contact with other LunarWars alliances.

As for Galava, the plans remain unchanged. I will be joining you there as Master & Commander as the charter dictates. I look forward to the opportunities and challenges this new game shall bring, and look forward to seeing you all there. But I shall not abandon GOONS on the moon. This is where I started, and as long as this alliances exists I will endeavor to serve it with distinction, no matter where fate takes me.

Thank you for your confidence, your dedication, and most importantly your trust.


- CapnBiggles

« Last Edit: June 19, 2010, 12:46:40 pm by CapnBiggles »

Offline Mert

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Re: Prologue- The Lunar War
« Reply #3 on: June 22, 2010, 04:16:31 am »
Actually, I should clarify - while I might appear mean to the guy I also don't have any personal beef with Salithus (other than the aforementioned lack of capitalisation). When Biggles stood down after a long reign as Pilot I chose to back Sardonic partly because I didn't agree with the way some of it was being conducted behind the scenes but mainly because I was bored and I love a bit of drama.

But, for his part, he did an amazing job in that game and we're cool, even if I do sometimes sound like a petty little bitchtart.

Offline kenmorningstar

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Re: Prologue- The Lunar War
« Reply #4 on: July 06, 2010, 11:55:23 am »
I don't know about the most shameful ever. The implosion of Goons in another space based game was pretty hysterical.

Offline MandozerTheGreat

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Re: Prologue- The Lunar War
« Reply #5 on: July 14, 2010, 05:29:46 am »
Miss the days of goodcop badcop with Biggles and what's his name...when we were dealing with Zerg in diplo

Offline Detlev

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Re: Prologue- The Lunar War
« Reply #6 on: August 08, 2010, 01:07:59 pm »
I came to LW through FAN, and was later a member of Legion of course.  It was a great pleasure to stomp the shit out of some goons in that game.

Offline Udelar

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Re: Prologue- The Lunar War
« Reply #7 on: August 08, 2010, 02:29:08 pm »
also there was another game called galava in super-beta

i stomped the shit out of people and broke that game so hard until i got bored / found other things to do.

either that or i found out that even being top dog wasn't enough to turn the game into a darwinistic every man for himself altar of violence with alliances eating their young.

It's probably good that I've never conducted diplomacy outside of that game

Offline tidybowlman

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Re: Prologue- The Lunar War
« Reply #8 on: April 18, 2011, 12:47:30 am »
As one of the faggatrons responsible for getting the LW GOONs curb stomped in round 2 I'll openly admit that LW was a fun god damn game to play.

High FW!

I could probably postulate as to why GOONs just didn't do well in Round 2, but it would be stirring up old shit that isn't worth getting arsed over.

Good times all in all and I miss that game. None of this diplomatic faggotry that rules CN. People declared war on each other for the hell of it most of the time.

Offline Borsche

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Re: Prologue- The Lunar War
« Reply #9 on: April 18, 2011, 12:23:04 pm »
i was one of the founding members of the snowdust republic (naac after it moved) and i think i eventually moved to ELS since i essentially spent more time talking with them than i did with the SR peeps. it was a really lame game, but that was mostly because i left before any wars started
your're consoel sucks

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ill fucking fight you and beat the shit out f you nerds

Offline I M Tpl

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Re: Prologue- The Lunar War
« Reply #10 on: April 20, 2011, 12:28:03 am »
As one of the faggatrons responsible for getting the LW GOONs curb stomped in round 2 I'll openly admit that LW was a fun god damn game to play.

High FW!

I could probably postulate as to why GOONs just didn't do well in Round 2, but it would be stirring up old shit that isn't worth getting arsed over.

Good times all in all and I miss that game. None of this diplomatic faggotry that rules CN. People declared war on each other for the hell of it most of the time.

It's GOONS you god damn fuckhead.
:Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2:
 :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2:
 :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2:
 :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2:
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 :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2:
 :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :furs2: :Fish2:
 :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2: :Fish2:

Offline dalstrs

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Re: Prologue- The Lunar War
« Reply #11 on: April 20, 2011, 12:49:49 pm »
As one of the faggatrons responsible for getting the LW GOONs curb stomped in round 2 I'll openly admit that LW was a fun god damn game to play.

High FW!

I could probably postulate as to why GOONs just didn't do well in Round 2, but it would be stirring up old shit that isn't worth getting arsed over.

Good times all in all and I miss that game. None of this diplomatic faggotry that rules CN. People declared war on each other for the hell of it most of the time.

It's GOONS you god damn fuckhead.

GOONs is the new acceptable capitalization. Kinda like how OMG is now in the dictionary.

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