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Author Topic: Goon Order of Oppression Negligence and Sadism Constitution  (Read 9244 times)

Offline Sardonic

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Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence, and Sadism Constitution
Preamble
We the People of GOONS, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish injustice, insure domestic Hilarity, provide for the common offense, promote the general Warfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posteriors, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the Goon Order of Oppression, Negligence, and Sadism.

   Articles
   
  • Admission & Membership.
             To join GOONS you must satisfy the following conditions:
                1) You aren't on anyone's hit list (silent s optional on the first word)
                2) You are not at war with anybody
                3) You are not irredeemably terrible
             The Newbie Wrangler is the arbiter of who may or may not join, however, full government members are able to overrule his decisions. 

    GOONS is not for everyone. Side effects include occasional bouts of sarcasm, loss of boredom, frequent swearing, and persistent erections lasting more than 4 hours (not guaranteed).  If you have been diagnosed with taking yourself too seriously, sense of humor deficiency, or persistent screaming nerdrage, consult a doctor before joining GOONS.
          
          
  • Government
             High Government
                Pilot
                The Pilot is the ultimate moral, spiritual, and temporal authority in GOONS.  If he says jump, we say how high.  If he says poop, we ask what color.  He is ultimate commander of GOONS.  Documents signed by the Pilot are considered to be the policy of GOONS unless countermanded by him directly.  He may overrule any other member of the GOONS government.  The Pilot has the ability to appoint any position below him if it becomes vacant (including aides), and remove anybody from government who is judged to not be acting in GOONS' best interests.

                    Co-Pilot
                          The Co-Pilot is to the Pilot what a Prime Minister is to a president.  Unless you're Irish or Russian.  The Co-Pilot is primarily tasked with ensuring the triad continue their operations.  In the absence of the Pilot, he speaks with the voice of the Pilot, and is second signatory on all GOONS declarations and treaties.  He can overrule any member of the government other than the Pilot.  The Co-pilot can appoint assistants and government aides.
             The Triad
                                    The Triad are the three government members charged with each of the three primary tenants of the alliance.  Each has complete discretion as to how their departments are run.  They have the authority to begin new programs, appoint mid-level and aide-level government positions.

                            Secretariat
                The Secretariat acts as director of foreign affairs, specifically foreign relations and by ensuring that foreigners are masked and indoctrinated in a timely manner.  The Secretariat cannot unilaterally sign treaties of any kind, however, he can write and propose them to the rest of the government.  The Secretariat designs the overall diplomatic direction of the alliance with the consent of the Pilot and Co-Pilot.
                
                Strategos
                The Strategos acts as director of internal affairs, specifically the military and military preparedness, aiding and tech-dealing, and nation building and maintenance.  The Strategos may, at his discretion and with the agreement of the Pilot or Co-Pilot, appoint up to two government-level assistants.  He may also appoint Company Commanders and remove them if they are in dereliction of their duty.   
                                   Pecuniator
                The Pecuniator is tasked with ensuring the economic health of the alliance.  He oversees the various programs that make up the alliances internal affairs.  Primarily those relating to growth and aid distribution.
                 
                GOONS council
                The council consists of four members.  The four members who are for all intents and purposes general government.  The council's primary job is to assist the other government with the operation of the alliance, paying special heed to the membership through the forums and IRC.  Council members may engage in diplomacy but should not make contentious decisions unilaterally.  The GOONS council can overrule a policy position of the pilot/co-pilot or triad with a 75% majority vote.  The Triad/Pilot/CoPilot can overrule this position with a unanimous vote.
                Members Emeritus
                A government Member Emeritus is someone who has performed sterling service to GOONS in this or another game, and is such given an advisory position over the fate of GOONS.  To be a Member Emeritus, you must have served in GOONS government.  Emeritus status will be denied if you are terrible.  This status is given by nomination from Pilot or Co-Pilot, upon completion of term.

             Non-Positional Access
    From time to time GOONS government may decide to allow people with no official job or position into the government area.  These members are to give input about  issues facing GOONS, but have no voting rights.  Access may be revoked or granted at will by a consensus of government, or Pilot/Co-Pilot decision.

                   General Gov positions
                    General Gov positions can be created at any time by a member of the triad for any legitimate purpose.  These positions oversee aide positions.  These positions will have access to the general government forum.

             Governmental Assistants
       Governmental assistants have access to the governmental section.  They are created for specific purposes by the Strategos and Secretariat.  Assistants should have a formal title and answer to the person directly above them.  Assistants can  also be appointed by the Pilot and Co-Pilot.

             Governmental Aides
    Government aides are elected or appointed to help their higher-gov counterparts.  They have a special forum and are allowed to know more about situations as they develop.

             High War Adjudicator: Manages the Mercy Board
             Newbie Wrangler: Oversees masking and training
             Dongmaster: Manages finances and tech-dealing     
             Nation Manager: Oversees trades/trade circles, guides, and auditing

             Petition rights
             There will always be a private subforum on the GOONS boards that only members of GOONS can see.  Any member can post there and raise any issue they wish, and the Government commit to discussing any matter that the membership raise.  Unless the person raising the matter is trolling or just being a jerk.  If the government do not get back to the membership when a legitimate question is asked, the member asking the question has permission to kick one (1) government member in the jimmy. (or if the government member is female, in the jenny).         
          
  • Governmental Appointments and Elections
                The primary method of replacing governmental vacancies will be appointment.  If a suitable appointee cannot be found an election will be held.  Elections may also be held if the Pilot and Co-Pilot believe somebody is not fulfilling their duties to the fullest, but do not want to outright remove them.
                If a government member resigns with dignity (read: doesn't delete the forums, post goatse) they are allowed to appoint their successor,  if they do not wish to appoint somebody, High Government will choose a successor, if High Government is unable to decide on a successor, the position will be elected.

          
  • Trade and aid.
          GOONS members have a reasonable expectation that their government will assist them in finding a trade circle and in finding tech deals either as a buyer or a seller.  While the government commits to making every effort in these situations, they will not and cannot guarantee any particular result.
          In situations where another GOONS member is in need, GOONS may be called upon to make reasonable donations of aid, military and otherwise, to worthy causes.
          
          
  • Foreign Relations.
             Tech Raiding
             In times of peace, GOONS recognize the sovereignty and security of other alliances.  An "alliance" is defined as a group of 15 or more nations.  Smaller groups are recognized by the presence of diplomatic ties. Exceptions may be made both for smaller groups we wish to recognize and larger groups we do not, should the government so decide.

             Unaligned nations are not afforded the protection given to alliance members, and may be attacked at the discretion of individual GOONS members. Should a GOONS member find himself under considerable retaliation while attacking an unaligned nation, the GOONS member in question should not have any reasonable expectation of official backing from GOONS government.
             Treaties
             Treaties with other alliances, of non-aggression, optional defense, mutual defense, and other forms, may be drafted by the Secretariat, but should not be considered binding on the side of GOONS unless signed by the Pilot or, in his absence, the Co-Pilot.
             
             Wartime
             While GOONS will endeavor to maintain peaceful relations with all recognized alliances, they accept that there are times when diplomacy must be continued by other means.
                           
             Should GOONS be called upon to make war upon another alliance, either by unilateral decision, or through treaty obligation, war will be declared following either a majority vote of the government, or decision of the Pilot.
          
  • Operational Security
             Spying is absolutely forbidden in GOONS.  Any nation found to be transmitting internal, secure GOONS-related information to any outside influence will be removed from GOONS immediately and placed on the EoG list.
          
                   
  • Amendments
       The charter can be amended at any time for any reason by the GOONS government.  Such a change may only be done by the Pilot and a majority vote of the government.

          
  • Spoilers
             Verbal Kint is Keyser Sose
             Rosebud is a sled
             Bruce Willis is a ghost and only Haley Joel Osment can see him.
             Jean Loring killed Sue Dibney
             Tim Robbins died in Vietnam, and the rest of the movie is him hallucinating as he dies.
             Brad Pitt's wife's head is in the box
             Everybody at the motel is a personality in the killer's head
             Edward Norton's character is also Tyler Durden
             The kind medical technician is the serial killer because he's mad at Denzel Washington.
             Jason Vorhees is actually his grief stricken mother
             Mr Orange is an undercover cop.
       
« Last Edit: November 17, 2012, 10:34:20 am by Sardonic »
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