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Author Topic: The Hired GOONS act  (Read 3261 times)

Offline Sardonic

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The Hired GOONS act
« on: June 11, 2010, 11:06:58 pm »

The Hired GOONS act

In our time here on planet Bob we have learned that many things.  We have learned what we are good at is fighting, and we love it dearly.  We also like getting paid, material wealth can be very satisfying.  In order to unify the two, we are prepared to offer a service.  This service will provide us with funding, to continue our oppression activities, and it will provide other alliances freedom from certain annoyances.

It has come to our attention that certain alliances are unable to strike effectively at certain targets at certain ranges.  We would like to offer our assistance in these matters, for a price.  This will enrich us, and enable the hiring alliance certainty of victory.

The hiring alliance will contact the government of GOONS to arrange the hit.  The government of GOONS will then muster forces to attack the nation, or nations.  The minimum payment is 3 Million Dongs per GOONS nation involved, with higher payment to be determined by the difficulty of the job.  The period of GOONS involvement and the exact payment are to be determined before the job commences.

Fine Print:
Only unprotected nations may be selected.  Nations that are in valid alliances as defined by the GOONS constitution may only be struck with the express permission of the government of said alliance.  GOONS accepts no liability or stake in the situation beyond military involvement.  If for any reason reparations are demanded (and the demand is deemed valid) the liability is placed wholly on the hiring alliance.  GOONS reserves the right to deny any contract that is deemed to be against the alliance's best interests.  If the GOONS members taking part in the job's slots are full, the payments are to be deferred elsewhere or to the participating member when the member's aid slots open.  GOONS reserves the right to terminate involvement in any job at any time, if compensation is owed for work unperformed, GOONS government will negotiate a fair amount.  In times of full scale alliance war GOONS reserves the right to suspend any and all outstanding contracts, pending completion of the conflict.  If GOONS fails to receive payment for services performed in a timely manner, GOONS reserves the right to demand interest.  Failure to pay contracts will be met with hostility.  Any and all hilarity that GOONS members unearth as a result of the contract becomes the sole property of GOONS.

Signed for GOONS:
Sardonic- GOONS Pilot
ktarthan -GOONS Secretariat
Kim Il Sung- GOONS Council
jamezBfod - GOONS Council
Tristesse - GOONS Council
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