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November 14, 2019, 09:26:55 am

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:goonpatriot: :goonpatriot: :goonpatriot: CYBERNATIONS IS OVER, IT IS TIME TO RUIN POLITICS AND WAR  :goonpatriot: :goonpatriot: :goonpatriot:
SEE: https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3897634
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Author Topic: Chapter 5: The first real war  (Read 487 times)

Offline Sardonic

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Chapter 5: The first real war
« on: July 10, 2010, 11:21:50 pm »
Chapter 5

It all started with a raid.  A large-scale raid against an alliance which had lost their protectorate.  A raid which by today's standards would not have happened as the alliance had more than the maximum 15 members.  Back then though, we didn't have a limit based on nation count, we just had a rule of "no treaties".  So we went with it.  We were invited to come along in the raid by our allies, PC.  \m/ was there too but we didn't coordinate with them or anything.  The raid began, and events had been set in motion that we couldn't have imagined.

The raid did not go unnoticed.  Almighty Grub of NpO, seeking a way to further himself in the eyes of the community and uphold some bullshit moralist standard on the rest of the world, saw fit to inject himself and NpO into the situation.  Even as the situation had been all but resolved, with The Corporation taking the raided alliance as a protectorate, NpO attacked \m/.  In fairness, \m/ was somewhat asking for it, they had used racial slurs during diplomatic talks, as well as being generally undiplomatic in general.  What would later become known as The Second Unjust War had begun.  I implore you, though, as you are reading this, not to call it that.  Call it "the war where NpO freaked out and attacked \m/" or something.  In reality, as any veteran of the UJW will tell you, the war had fuckall to do with the old Unjust War, and bears no resemblance in the least.

We were still allied to NpO at the time, though that was tenuous, at best.  Grub had given us notice that he was canceling the treaty.  In hindsight it probably would have saved us a lot of trouble to just let it be canceled then and there.  We did the diplomatic thing, carefully informed him that we weren't part of some conspiracy to restart the Unjust Path with \m/ and PC, and that we would refrain from raiding things as big as the group that we raided.  It worked, and the treaty was uncanceled, and preserved for the time being.  A discussion raged in the government channels as to the value of the NpO treaty with Grub at the helm.

We decided eventually to say fuck it and enter the war, we entered and hit TFD, a generally boring, if somewhat competent alliance on NpO's side.  The actual war part, aside from being an interesting exercise in how many we could muster for an update rush, was over extremely quickly, they requested peace 30 minutes later, having only launched a single counter against Nippy.  Something had changed elsewhere, and the focus of the war took an entirely different turn.  It was too late for our NpO treaty though, which was canceled at both ends because of the incident.

It was at this time that the core of the conflict peaced out.  For a new conflict had started, the much, much better named TOP-C&G War.  TOP, sensing C&G would soon be busy with the above war, declared war.  This is what set off the interesting part of the war.

For our part, we quickly capitalized on the occasion to declare war on some faggots.  This was but an appetizer really, we went with what the C&G war strategists thought would be good for us.  Of course we crushed them pretty much utterly.  In about a week they surrendered.  Because they didn't have any cash to pay us with, and we'd destroyed everything else, we took a mercy board style essay as reps.

Like I said before though, this was just an appetizer.  The main course was NATO.  We declared war and begun pulverizing their lower tiers with help from some other alliances.  This did not go unnoticed though, and we had some alliances declare war on us, most of them shit-tier.  The first to declare on us was the running joke of an alliance The Libertarian Socialist Federation.  They didn't even manage to get more than 10 wars in their update "rush".  A more significant threat was UCN.  Their members that I fought actually knew the meaning of the word "warchest".  Finally two more shit tier alliances ADI and LSN.

We were up against quite a lot of foes, but we were not terribly harmed.  Most of our nations at that point were lower level, and had a good deal of experience fighting from tech raiding (and other assorted blowing shit up wars).  By and large, the GOONS war machine operated swimmingly.  While our higher level nations did take somewhat of a mortal beating, myself included, but we were not without friends, who as the war progressed, were able to allocate their forces to help us.  Pretty much all of our treaty partners were able to help us.

UCN was the first alliance of our main conflict that got out.  We let them go with $150m to be paid to us as reparations.  Us and our allies peaced out with them and they were out of the war.  The fun part was next, negotiating the agreement for the rest of our "part" of the conflict to peace out.  We played hardball, demanding reparations from NATO, who we had attacked.  This was a pretty hilarious dick move on our part, but hey, they agreed to it, and our allies were okay with us demanding it.  TFD helped ease NATO's pain by paying 50m on their behalf.  LSF was supposed to have paid 50m, but were not present at the talks, and deemed too pathetic to handle paying reparations, so NATO hefted their burden.  ADI agreed to pay 75m as well to us.

So that all adds up to a lot of money, right?  Wrong!  The punch line to the whole event is that the majority of the people who owed us reps disbanded.  UCN, strangely, the most potent force we fought, crumbled.  ADI disbanded and was not able to pay the full amount either.  To their credit, NATO and TFD paid their share, for the most part.  Instead of rebuilding, most of our enemies in that war decided they were done, and folded into other alliances, or formed their own pathetic microalliances, as pubbies tend to do these days.

Overall, we had won our first major conflict, earned some money in the process, and done well for ourselves.  This was our first major test of our military power, and we proved our might, even if we hit mostly at the lower tiers.  Our relations with our allies were proved, and we had a great time doing it.  The war was over.  Or was it?

Indeed, the war rages on to this day in fact.  An insane man by the name of Ram leads a band of lunatics by the name of gremlins in their eternal quest to get IRON to "unconditionally surrender".  A continuing conflict you can read about here.  But don't.  It's far too boring.  If you were in the old CNGOONS you might remember gremlins as they were in 2007, pompous, arrogant, braggarts who loved to show off their high (for the time) nuke count.  Relish that they have a fate worse than death now.  They are a joke, a joke that will not die, even as their alliance crumbles more and more.  Unfortunately though for our allies who were promised money from IRON, the conflict with Gremlins legally means that IRON doesn't have to pay, yet.  So maybe someday they will get paid, who knows?
« Last Edit: July 10, 2010, 11:34:01 pm by Sardonic »

Offline Biazt

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Re: Chapter 5: The first real war
« Reply #1 on: July 10, 2010, 11:37:32 pm »
Our upper tiers were pretty hilariously obliterated during this war. We literally had maybe 15 nations over 3999 infra at the time and we were all dog piled. That said, in the lower tiers we completely crushed anyone in range. I was personally taken from 4600 or so infra to 400 after this war. Sent out >30 nukes while doing it though :chord:

This war was awesome but I will never forgive nippy and his shit timezones. I can't count the number of target lists and ingame messages I sent out with links to war guides and all sorts of crazy shit and CAPS everywhere until 4 in the morning :argh:

Ever single day I would get close to hitting the 1,000 click cap.

If anyone is interested I can post some of the old target lists that has our enemies (NATO etc) with almost all of the alliance in anarchy.
« Last Edit: July 10, 2010, 11:39:29 pm by Biazt »



<Hyperion[Sparta]> I NEED COCKS IN ME RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

Offline nippythefish

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Re: Chapter 5: The first real war
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2010, 04:56:43 am »
This war was awesome but I will never forgive nippy and his shit timezones. I can't count the number of target lists and ingame messages I sent out with links to war guides and all sorts of crazy shit and CAPS everywhere until 4 in the morning :argh:

Sorry man.  :froggonk:



Offline karthikking

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Re: Chapter 5: The first real war
« Reply #3 on: July 11, 2010, 08:55:23 pm »
Gramlins were okay in 2k9...

Offline steviewondah

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Re: Chapter 5: The first real war
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2010, 12:14:32 pm »
They were pretty much always faggotrons from what I read in the OWF even back in the days of the old GOONS

Offline Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz

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Re: Chapter 5: The first real war
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2010, 06:22:40 pm »
Some of the ex-Gre guys were ok - namely an ex-GOONS dude (I can't remember his name) and Ejay. But yeah, back in the day they threatened us with nuclear war, which tipped off a massive nuke-buying exercise which saw us end up with the most nukes in CN of any alliance prior to the UjW.

I was lucky that some of Umbrella's top tier were unengaged and could help out at the drop of a hat. I only ended up losing about 20K NS but still haven't bought back the infra that got nuked away. We really fucked up the biggest NATO and UCN nations tho' - some of them lost in the order of 80-90K  :smug:
« Last Edit: July 12, 2010, 06:25:03 pm by Umar ibn Abd al-Aziz »

Offline Dancemasterlee

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Re: Chapter 5: The first real war
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2010, 08:23:27 pm »
the real question is how alliances like IRON still exist 

Offline karthikking

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Re: Chapter 5: The first real war
« Reply #7 on: July 16, 2010, 04:42:51 pm »
the real question is how alliances like IRON still exist
They are lapdogs
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